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Ok, so my friend Geoff just IM’d me

Ok, so my friend Geoff just IM’d me his new list of his personal dating rules. He wrote the entire list including the intro from scratch, so its all original. The reason I’m posting this is first because its a great list, and secondly because it also covers a lot of my own personal rules that I have never though to write down. If you like the list or want to say something about it, please COMMENT by clicking the comment link under this post. If you have your own list of rules or interesting thoughts you would like posted, please contact me at. Finally, if you want to talk to Geoff about his list, you can email him at or Instant Message him at screen name

The list……

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Ah men, women, dating, relationships. These seem to be a popular topic of discussion lately. I don’t know if it’s just me who’s noticed this trend, but fall and winter seem to be the seasons for relationship turmoil. Conversely, spring and summer seem to be the time when everyone hooks up. At any rate, sex, dating and relationships has been a common topic of discussion for me, both with my male and female friends.

I myself have been dating since the age of twelve. Since then, I have been slowly, but surely forming an image of what I want in a woman. I’ve dated quite a bit and have dated several types of girls. Though perhaps not an “expert, I do consider myself experienced and educated enough in the scene to be able to make judgment calls based upon repeated observations and experiences. As such, I have created a list of rules that come to mind when I’m dating a girl or meeting a new one. Though these are my own, I think that they’ll be beneficial for everyone. Most of these rules pertain specifically to girls I’ve dated since starting college began. For anyone who knows anything about girls in Boulder, you’ll understand where I’m coming from. Each rule has its own story in its creation. They have all been labeled “1” for a reason. Read these, laugh and ponder. So, without further delay?the rules:

1. My pad is mine. It is not a love nest that I have made to suit your womanly needs, in case you were wondering why there’s no loofah in my shower.

1. Yes, I have subscriptions to Maxim, Playboy and FHM. Yes I do read the articles, and so should you?you might learn something about the male of the species. Then, you might not complain so much.

1. Guys are pretty simple to understand. You just have to stop, look and listen. We don’t send mixed signals because, usually, we’ve made up our minds about what we want. Just ask?you’ll be amazed.

1. Men have a form of non-verbal communication that dates back to the days when men were hunters and gatherers. Among other signals, this includes grunts and gestures. An attempt to interpret this behavior by any non-male will only result in confusion. The ability to understand is a y-linked trait.

1. If I ask for your phone number, it’s not because I want to be your friend (I have enough of those already), it’s because I want to sleep with you and/or date you.

1. On a first date, I have zero interest in either meeting or hanging out with your friends: it’s a date, not a social gathering? and you said I move fast.

1. If I get your number after we’ve had sex, don’t expect a call?unless you were that good, then expect one no sooner than three days after the fact and no later than seven.

1. You have no right to ask what I’m thinking, unless you’ve known me for a year or longer, or it looks like I’m about to have an aneurysm. Even then, you might not get a coherent reply.

1. On a first date, either have something intelligent or interesting to say or don’t expect a second date. I do my best to make conversation, and so should you. If you say “hmm” or “yeah” more than once as a reply to something I say (not ask), you’re done?I like people with more than a monosyllabic vocabulary.

1. The “shy” or “coy” approach doesn’t work. I’ll simply think one of two things: you’re either a) not interested or b) uninteresting.

1. Playing “hard-to-get” is a balance. Don’t be too easy, or we’ll lose interest due to lack of challenge. Don’t be too hard, or we’ll give up, thinking it’s not worth the effort. We love the hunt, but there’s a fine line between too little and too much.

1. If you stop talking about how you want to lose weight, I’ll stop talking about how I want to gain it. We both end-up at the gym anyway.

1. Don’t talk about your ex-boyfriends unless it’s to tell me what losers they are and how lucky you feel to be dating me now.

1. Do not, I repeat DO NOT ask how many other women I’ve had sex with. It has nothing to do with you and me, and the honest answer will only upset you.

1. If we have not agreed to commitment, then it is very likely that I’m dating other girls in addition to you.

1. As long as we’re having fun together, then there’s nothing else to worry about, so don’t.

1. If we’ve been dating for less than a month, do not ask me where our “relationship” stands?I still don’t know.

1. When you find out that I’m a future doctor, do not make jokes about marrying me. This only makes you look like a gold-digger. You want to marry a rich man? Marry a stockbroker on Wall Street or the CEO of McDonald’s. Doctors don’t make as much as people think and I’m not becoming one for the money, so you shouldn’t want to marry one for it.

1. It’s the same for guys as it is for girls: little things can score big points, so do them on a semi-regular basis.

1. Do not complain about being cold if I offer you my jacket and you refuse it.

1. I am neither stupid nor na?ve. I know a bullshit excuse when I hear one. If you don’t want to go out, fucking say so and quit wasting my time. It’s really not that hard.

1. There are few people in this world that can hurt me. The likelihood that you’re one of them is virtually nonexistent?so don’t try to play a card you don’t have.

1. The words “us” and “future” should never be used in the same sentence.

1. Pertaining to any situation with any guy: hints are a waste of time. We are oblivious even if the hint is obvious. Just say it for Christ’s sake.

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